I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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