that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
