You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
it's great music for shaving your balls
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
My life is pants optional.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
