so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
