and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
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