Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
