I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
