EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
