i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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