Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Dick very happy bro
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
