i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
