Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
