Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
