...so i touched it.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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