..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
