I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
