I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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