its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
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