make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
