Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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