Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
