he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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