Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
