And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
