They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
