**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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