What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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