We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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