i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
