dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
