So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
