I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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