if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
