you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize