i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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