SEEEEXXX PLEASE
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Randomize