I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
