he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Floor bacon is actually really good
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
