One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
