i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
