dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
