wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I want a musical about memes.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
