True but thats because hes a fetus.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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