I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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