I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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