You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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