Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
