I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
