Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Houston, we have a squirter
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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