obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Randomize
