nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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