like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
