She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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