your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
He uses pillows to masturbate.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
