just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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