Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
It's shark week go big or go home
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
