Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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