Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
